Mike reads my blog, and he was a little troubled when he read my last post in which I mentioned our fun weekend, and then posted what he assumed was a representation of him and me. I assured him he is not that gray and we are not quite that "seasoned" yet, and that it was just a picture of a couple obviously in love. This week I was careful to find a picture of a pair that more closely resembles us. Ha! I wish! Actually, I don't. I like where we're at right now; which is somewhere in between.
How's your week going? I loved Tina's reminder to us all to be thankful. Aren't we so blessed? Sure, we have plenty we could complain about, if we chose to, but life is so much richer if we choose gratefulness.
Any specific ways you've chosen to express thankfulness to your husband this week? Nothing is too big or too small to show gratitude...think of how appreciative you feel when someone genuinely thanks you for something. Our husbands are gifts from God; let's not take them for granted. Ever.
Thank you for participating in this study, and for your gentle and humble spirits!
Tracy
5 comments:
I recently read this on another blog and I found I agree with a lot of what is said. Not that I don't agree with Debi Pearl (ok... sometimes I do and sometimes I don't)... it's just I think that she can be very passionate about her stance/oppinions in life and sometimes scripture can be twisted and interpreted to fit what she wants to say. Here is the blog that I read... www.createdtobehishelpmeet.blogspot.com
Just some food for thought. I really just read points 1 and 2 today (because there was a lot), and I agreed with the following:
Below are some verses from the Bible which contradict Debi’s assertion that women were created solely for the purpose and glory of men and find their complete identity in being a help meet to a man.
Colossians 1:15-17 – He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.
Women and men were created by and for Christ.
Colossians 2:9-10 – For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.
Women and men have been given fullness in Christ. Women do not find completion in a man or in serving a man – they find it in Christ.
Ephesians 2:10 – For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Both men & women were created in Christ Jesus to do good works, prepared by God for us.
Galatians 3:26-29 – You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.
Both men and women find their identity from being in Christ.
Galations 2:20 – I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live through faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!
Christ lives in each woman who has invited Him in. Righteousness is found through Him, not through being a perfect help meet to a man.
1 Corinthians 7:8, 34-35 – Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am… An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world – how she can please her husband.
Paul made it clear that a woman did not have to be a help meet to serve God or have a true purpose in life. In fact, staying unmarried led to greater effectiveness in certain areas. Unmarried women, according to Paul, had not “failed in the very purpose for which they were created – to be a help meet to a man.”
Romans 12:1&2 – Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern on this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.
We come to know God’s perfect will by offering our bodies as living sacrifices to Him – the ultimate in submission! Debi tells us that God’s perfect will for a woman (she uses these words) is to be a help meet as she defines it. (On page 73: “What is God’s perfect will for your life? To be a good help meet.”)
Thank you for what you posted, Anonymous. I have to chuckle just a little because I find it interesting that some of us prefer to be anonymous. I really credit Tracy with letting us know up front that she would accept anonymous comments. I would also like to compliment Tracy for being a really good teacher and for having great rapport in front of people. I believe she has a gift for teaching.
But, I continue to have serious issues with this book. I've had conversations with other women who are reading it -- and I agree with them that there is some good in it. BUT--the wrong mixed with the good is a dangerous mix, in my opinion.
The following is a quote from a blog in which the book is reviewed by a male minister:
p 77-80 / “Mr. Command Man”. “They are known for expecting their wives to wait on them hand and foot. A Command Man does not want his wife involved in any project that prevents her from serving him.”…”Command Men have less tolerance, so they will often walk off and leave their clamoring wife before she has a chance to realize that she is even close to losing her marriage.” …”She is on call every minute of her day. Her man wants to know where she is, what she is doing, and why she is doing it. He corrects her without thought. For better or for worse, it is his nature to control.”
RAF: All of this is presented as though these are simply acceptable qualities. They are not. These are sinful expressions of domination and control. They are not to be accommodated. A woman thinking about marrying such a man should run like the wind. She goes on to write on p 79 “In most marriages, the strife is not because the man is cruel or evil; it is because he expects obedience, honor, and reverence and is not getting it. Thus, he reacts badly.” His sin is NOT justified by hers period. This very twisted thinking pervades everything she writes. This is dismaying.
His entire review can be found at: http://responsivereiding.com/2008/03/01/created-to-be-his-help-meet-a-review-sort-of/
I do not mean to undermine the teacher or the teaching in this class but I do feel some responsibility to point out some of the twisted teaching in the book. Please, please, young women, do not accept shame and guilt and fear as motivation. That is not what God wants for you. Search the scriptures--go ahead and look up the Greek and Hebrew definitions. Be a student of the Word yourself. You CAN be a scholar. You CAN be educated. Google this: e-Sword -- and you will find a wonderful free resource where you can look up both Hebrew and Greek for the entire Bible.
On page 51 Debi states "There are many books written by men, 'scholars,' that undermine the beauty of a woman's help meet position. They do so by casting doubt on the Bible itself. They talk in elaborate and 'learned' terms about 'the original languages' and the 'cultural settings' in which the words of Scripture were written."
Well, the Scriptures WERE written in 'the original languages'!! The Scriptures were not written by King James! And....they were written in cultural settings. These facts do not take away from the authority of Scripture. I believe it adds richness and depth to God's Word.
"May the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, give you a spirit of wisdom and perception of what is revealed, to bring you to full knowledge of him." Eph. 1:17
While I was growing up I was taught that baptism was not something that you had to do, it would be a good idea, but not necessary. My parents said that if I died and I never got around to being baptized that I would still go to heaven. When I was 15 I decided to walk away from the teachings of my parents and be baptized for the remission of my sins, to be buried with Christ, to arise in the newness of life. My parents were very upset with me, mainly because they felt that I was saying their way was not enough (which I was), but night after night they would show me verses in the bible that stated that all I had to do was believe and I would be saved... and I would try to show them verses about baptism and confession and repentance saying that just because one verse says one thing does not mean that the rest of the verses are null and void. We are created by God and for God, and all the verses pointed out by Anonymous are great verses. However, there are other verses in the bible that say we are to be subject to our own husbands, respecting them, and that we were created to be their (our husbands) help meet. And by so doing those things, I am honoring and obeying God. Also, the author states that this book reveals God's plan for obtaining a heavenly marriage. So, unmarried women do not have the obligation to be subject, respectful and a help meet to their husbands because they do not have husbands, and until they get married, if they ever do, than those rules do not apply to them.
Also, I feel that the review written about the author's opinions on Mr. Command Man did not do the whole section on it justice. There was a lot more too that type of person than just bad things. And the author does state that "In most marriages (to Mr. Command Man), the strife is not because the man is cruel or evil; it is because he expects obedience, honor and reverence, and is not getting it. Thus, he reacts badly." She also says right after that, "When a wife plays her part as a help meet, the Command Man will respond differently." She does state though, that that is not always the case. I can safely say that I am married to a man that shows the most qualities of Mr. Command Man, and I do not regret marrying him nor have I ever thought that he should be something different. I do not feel that his sins are justified, however, I do believe that no matter what he does or how he acts it is still my job to obey God by being my husbands helper, submissive and respectful. God will take care of the rest!
So far, in reading this book, I have yet to see any twisting of the scriptures. And I do believe that the Lord will give us a spirit of wisdom and perception, we just have to ask. As hard as it can be to be submissive, respectful and a good help meet to our husbands, the Lord is willing to help us...after all, this is His design for marriage!
I absolutely agree, Grace. When reading about the Command Man, I did not read those things as bad characteristics. I have a Command Man too and I really don't know what I would possible do if I had a husband with any of the other character traits. My husband is extremely tender-hearted and treats me very well. He does expect me to be home when he gets home, to have supper cooking and to have the house comfortably clean and organized. He has never demanded obedience and actually respects the fact that my personality is that of a very busy woman. He knows that my dreams are on hold for the most part while our children are growing. He and I love to dream of a time when I can go back to school and work one of my "dream" jobs. He knows that I am not fulfilled with staying home all day, that I love to do all kinds of things outside of the home. He does, still, however, want me to keep the home running smoothly. I believe that is my number one "job" and I find the most fulfillment in that job. This is not because I just love it so much, but because of the way he responds to me when I am his wife and mother of his children first and second.
I too have been having a hard time taking all of this book in. But I feel that the main reason this is so is because of my incapability to fully submit. Our society has made us women so masculine and forceful!! I feel, I mean I know that I would be more happy personally and also in my marriage if I learn to be submissive to my husband. Such joy can be found with a serving mentality. It's time we need to stop thinking of what we deserve and how things should be. We need to start fully submitting and seeing what blessings can come from that. I think Tracy is totally right when she says that ultimately we are serving and submitting to Christ when we are our husband's helpmeet!! Peace ya'll!
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